Monday, May 21, 2007


The News and how Bisean take it on...

Indosnesos (21 May 2007)--An Indonesian fisherman hooked a rare coelacanth, a species once thought as extinct as dinosaurs, and briefly kept the "living fossil" alive in a quarantined pool.

-- "Uhmmm...ok."

Justinus Lahama caught the four-foot, 110-pound fish early Saturday off Sulawesi island near Bunaken National Marine Park, which has... some of the highest marine biodiversity in the world. The fish died 17 hours later, an extraordinary survival time, marine biologist Lucky Lumingas said Sunday.

--"I thought Lahama used a hook? How in the world can he pull out a 110-pound ugly fish if he really don't intend to?...And what was he fucken doing in Bunaken? OR around Bunaken? It's supposed to be a protected area! the moronic fisherman was backed up by an equally moronic marine biologist? -- keep a fish like a coelacanth in an aquarium and expect it to live forever? Ha!"

"The fish should have died within two hours because this species only lives in deep, cold-sea environment," he said. Lumingas works at the local Sam Ratulangi University, which plans to study the carcass.

--"Whaaaaat? Of course it would only live for a couple of hours, you moron! It was obvious that they won't let it go until it died! The poor thing hold on for 17 long hours of misery! Is that what you guys are teaching in that university?! Pffft."

The coelacanth (pronounced SEE-la-kanth) was believed to be extinct for 65 million years until one was found in 1938 off Africa's coast, igniting worldwide interest. Several other specimens have since been discovered, including another off Sulawesi island in 1998.

--"We KNOW how to pronounce "SEE-la-kanth" dahlin' and it's all over fucken Discovery channel. What? No cable around your island?... and what happened to the one caught in 1998? Not enough cadaver to dissect huh? Just admit it just want it to yourself! Goddamn marine biologists my arse!"

The powerful predator is highly mobile with limb-like fins, and it gives birth to live young rather than laying eggs.

--"Yeah, yeah,'s highly mobile. They apparently roam through the deep waters from South Africa to Indonesia. Blah, blah, blah. Yaddi, yadda, ya!

"What I really think is... that marine biologist paid the fisherman some mullah to catch him a really ugly coelacanth. Hey, if our 15 minutes of fame won't come to us...we come to them, don't we? Ha!"

There. Take that!

River Pisanu is back.



conan_cat said...

of course that poor thing will die!! they KNEW that it can't live in shallow water and they didn't let it go, i think they didn't even INTEND to let it go. wtf! and we're talking about animals extinct on Earth, now who causes that?

Bjarne of Norway said...

You write really funny River! This is what I missed while you're gone. Welcome back.

rmacapobre said...

he should have donated it to the science community. he must have thought he could profit large amounts of endorsements ..


Pfft. I bet he staged the whole thing.

Riki The Dark said...

That's sad, the Coelacanth has been around for millions of years and has survived numerous mass extinctions. Can it survive Justinus Lahama? Poor Coelacanth :(

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