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Sunday, June 10, 2007

THE ROLL CALL YOU DON'T WANNA HEAR

I picked up Safri, my Brit-Malaysian buddy at California Fitness Jln Sultan Ismail. Instead of gobbling the usual Starbucks blend on the corner, we decided to have dinner at Kuala Lumpur's famous Jalan Alor, it's a street of HongKong-style restaurants lined along the roadside.

I was driving. Traffic was bad considering it's Sunday. Parking was hard to find too. Finally, a space on the side of the road at the back of Jalan Alor near the tall condos.

I haven't turned off the engine yet when a man approached the car saying something as if we can hear him inside. Safri didn't give a shit but my mind was rushing. Who can blame me? I had my share of mugging and chasing plus I kinda like punching a guy's face when they are acting like a threat to me. Ha! Take that.

Anyways, I opened the door. The man walked straight to my direction. I clenched my fists. Ready to beat his sorry ass. Safri sensed what I'm going to do then he interrupt by saying something in Malay (or Chinese, or Hindi, I don't know) which I can barely hear. Then the man went to him.

"TALK IN ENGLISH!" I yelled to both of them. The man was startled.

Safri said to the man "Ask him, if he likes." Obviously pertaining to me. I'm standing on the other side of the car.

"Ask me what?" Safri walked over to my side, told me to relax and explained what the man wanted.

I regained my ground. The offer tickled my spine. After the gym, I could use one. The man must've seen a hint of a naughty smile on my face so he fearlessly walked over to me.

"What you like?" He said conspicuously. "I have Vietnamese, Filipin, Chinese, Lao..." he paused observing a hint, then continued "...Burmese, Indonesian...we have Russian!...

My face was blank. I was waiting for him to add the kicker --"Thai girls". But no --it didn't come. I am very sensitive about this issue. He didn't say the wrong word so, I asked him how much...

He said 500 Ringgit. F*ck! 500 Ringgit? Who is he kidding? "500 Ringgit?!! Are you crazy?" I said to his face.

"500 for the Russian." trying to calm me. Then he did his roll call again: "Vietnamese, Filipin, Lao, Indonesian...250 Ringgit...." Then he added "Very cheap. You go up there." (pointing at the tall condo building called Mutiara).

Seems like he will not mention "Thai" on his roll call so I gave in...But still I have to ask! -- "You have Thai girls?"

"Oh yes! You like Thai? 150 Ringgit only!"

I PUNCHED HIM ON THE FACE, KICK HIS RIBS WITH MY KNEES LEFT AND RIGHT AND LEFT HIM ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD. THAT NASTY PIMP!


Now, I'm flying back to Bangkok a day early just in case there would be trouble with the police here...tomorrow, good morning Bangkok.


Take that!


****



14 Comments:

MISTERHUBS said...

Go Pisanu! Woohoo!

Baklang AJ said...

Take that, you pimp! :)

frostfire said...

This post makes me laugh hard! I think you'll be very good in writing situational comedy River. Just dicovered your blog from a link and I've got to give it to you man... your one helluvah guy! You got such a charmed life... imagine not having to work and travelling all the time?! Wow! My hats off to you River. Very very interesting and informative blog. Keep it coming. Oh yeah... I love Bangkok! I travel there every year (sometimes twice). Just can't get enough of the city.

Riki The Dark said...

I can't blame you. Sex trade workers would be lucky to get 40% of what the clients pay the pimp, yet they are the ones who sell pleasure and sacrifice their dignity and slef-respect. That pimp was lucky all he got was a punch.

oboids said...

Yikes..so the guy's a pimp! Damn..i am slow, geez. i thought he just wanted help or something. Nyahaha!

Pisanu for BISEAN said...

Thanks I always write in the heat of the moment so no emotions spared.

I am known in the Thai sex-workers community in KL as "The Mouth". Whenever I hear women speaking Thai in the streets at night (obviously peddling themselves), I give them tongue lashing: "Go and sell yourselves at home! You're giving Thailand a bad name!" But they always take it as a joke and laugh at me. But I was serious, I'm really sensitive with this issue.

Bjarne of Norway said...

LOL. Must be you Muay Thai black belt! LOL.

Sofia for BiSEAN said...

BOYS WILL BE BOYS. So, if the pimp didn't have Thai girls, I'm sure you already had some of what he has?

Morgan said...

Do I smell jealousy here Sofia honey? hahahahaha.

This is very Pisanu. He's always happy and care-free but his fists fly around when pissed. See you later dude. Come to Glow, booze on tap.

Hanifa said...

Me too. I'm very pissed when I see Indonesian women being peddled in the street of foreign countries. Argh!

Tongkat Ali said...

I agree! Those girls should sell themselves at home not abroad. And if they insist of working abroad, then don't tell their real nationality. It's a disgrace!

Steve & Becky said...

Pisanu, you don't work!!! whats the secret?

Pisanu for BISEAN said...

@Steve & Becky, nope, I don't work. And so are my friends. No secret here. OH! A couple of stocks and shares plus allowance from mom and dad. :-)

riain said...

I know this is bad, but this post was the funniest ever. Well, what can we do, prostitutes are everywhere and when it is the world's oldest profession- im sure every country has one. :)

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