MY grocer has been delivering for me for more than 4 years now...he got a deli down the block.
Dear Mr. Lu,
Your delivery guy is in the lobby downstairs and I'm gonna let him wait as long as it takes until I get what I want. Although my stockroom is still full, I kept accepting your weekly delivery of the groceries which I got a liiiiiiittle problem with…
Nobody changed the grocery list I gave you but you keep delivering goods that are NOT on it. And you luuuuv to substitute! FOR EXAMPLE…
I only drink Chilean wine and you keep delivering French! The taste isn’t the same and you certainly need a lesson in geography. I only tolerate Brie cheese and you keep sending Cheddar! Who’s gonna eat it? I don’t keep mice as pets. Whole Wheat Bread is different from Wheat Bread. You want me to get colon cancer? Ha! You can eat it for all I care.
And I specifically asked for organic fruits from Cameron Highlands. Why you keep sending me pre-packed from Sri Lanka? Although my house keeper is glad to take it all home, HEY, I’m still paying for it! And the MILK? Who ordered milk? Get it away from me!
Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia
Please change my stuffed olives to Spanish. The Greek ones are getting a bit oily these days. Thank you.
I heard your daughter is graduating with honours! Wow! You must be very proud! Congratulations Mr. Lu! Now, recall your delivery guy and meet my demands! I mean NOW!
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