Monday, April 02, 2007

Q&A: Aren't bisexuals just going through a phase of being confused about their sexuality?

The simple answer is "no" or at least "not necessarily" - many of us are absolutely certain that we are attracted to both sexes; there is no confusion. Just as I personally put it: "I'm not confused. I'm just greedy". This simple phrase always make my point more understandable. Many people are bisexual for life, which proves it is not necessarily just a phase.

It is natural for people who are coming to terms with a sexuality which is not society's norm to be feel confused. For some people, bisexuality is a phase between homosexuality and heterosexuality (and the individual in question could be going in either direction); for others it can just be a brief experimentation. But for many people bisexuality is a lifelong, committed sexual orientation.

And even for those who ultimately do not stay bisexual for life, that does not make it any the less valid as a sexual orientation. Many people have reported that their sexual orientation has shifted over time; sexuality is dynamic, not fixed. For some people it may be a small shift, others a major change of lifestyle; but this does not make the points in between in any sense "wrong". Life is a continuous process, and few of us remain exactly the same over long periods of time.



Kit said...

i think it is most important to be comfortable with yourself. there are too many grey areas in life (sexuality or otherwise) and we should not feel compelled to explain ourselves all the time. you are the only one who really knows what is going on. so just chill and let everyone else get flustered... haha.


Well said. I also think we dwell too much on categorizing people instead of just accepting who they are.

Ponsinh said...

Nice explanation on bisexuality and that sexuality is dynamic.

carl said...

If we say that sexuality is dynamic then we are also implicitly stating that there is some level of choice in ones sexual preference. I doubt that anyone believes that one chooses to have whatever sexual preference they have at that moment.

Now, ones level of acceptance and or awareness of their own sexuality may be dynamic and may change over time.

If a bisexual man marries a hetrosexual woman who is expecting to have a traditional married relationship with a bisexual man is going to be very disappointed and or the bisexual man will have to do some dynamic changing and denying to succeed at that relationship.

That is not ones sexuality dynamically changing over time that is the acceptance of reality over the ideal.

That is more of adjusting ones desires to ones reality. Sometimes reality can be a very unpleasent place...ask Senator Larry Craig...

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