BISEAN went on a gym safari and spotted these amazing creatures!
The Gym Bunnies - They come in every effin’ day in lycra leotards. They hop around the gym from one machine to another without ever finishing a routine. Hop, hop hop!
The Gym Gorillaz - Bulky, hairy, and cast a huuuuge shadow behind ‘em. Their color ranges from deep red to Kiwi dark-brown shoe polish.
The Meerkats - They stretch their necks and stick their heads out whenever a gorgeous guy comes in.
The Hyenas - They chat, chuckle, laugh, chat some more and chat, chat, chat to eternity. If hunting rifles are allowed, I’ll take them down first.
The Parrots - Same as the Hyenas but wears fantabulously outrageous gym outfits made in China.
The Gym Crocs - Creatures who never leave a machine and stay there all day as if they own it. They will be the next ones to go after the Hyenas, I tell you.
The Wet Dogs - They always leave the machine wet for the next user. I don’t understand how they sweat so much! Argh!
The Guard Dogs - They bark and woof on the last 3 reps. There’s also a hybrid of this mixed with Gorillaz.
The Giraffes - Tall, gorgeous, painfully beautiful creatures who are so into themselves. Usually found on the machines closest to the mirror wall.
The Hippos - Unbelievably huge creatures but rarely visible. They are found under the bubbles of the Jacuzzi with their noses just above the water.
The Gila Monsters - Huge, ferocious lizards usually found in the sauna all day. They never leave!
The Skunk - They come to the gym oozing with irritating AXE cologne sprayed all over. These creatures DON’t understand! Get away from me! G E T A W A Y !
The Chicken - A creature with massive chest and throbbing arms complete with toothpick legs.
The Kapibara - Fat, amphibious rats usually found “basking” in the area between the shower and the locker room.
The Hamsters - Creatures running all day on the threadmill and go straight to the snack bar afterwards.